Stop Looking In The Mirror - BLUE DUDE



I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isn't There

Oct 16, 2013

Yesterday was a rough one, and today's not going to be much better. Peter and I both have to meet at the school today with David's teacher and therapists to discuss his education plan for this school year, so we'll have to be in the same room together. After yesterday's email exchange, I can tell you I'm looking forward to it about as much as un-anesthetized root canal.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

I was crying on the shoulders of some fabulous friends last night, and many of them said the same thing: "He can still hurt you because you're hoping that the guy you married is still in there somewhere." I suppose that's partially true. I'd like to see more of the Peter who'd do anything for his kids, the responsible, caring, sorry-I-messed-up-let-me-make-amends kind of guy. But I don't think that's the part that really tears an emotional hole in you.

No, I think the real wound is in realizing, over and over through his actions, that he never really was the guy I thought I married in the first place. And all the wishing in the world isn't going to turn him into that guy now, especially if that guy didn't exist to begin with. I was so young when we got together. I had no idea what I wanted out of life other than him. I made him the center of my universe and based all of my self-worth on him and his opinion of me. Decades of that is so hard to undo, but the unraveling has to be done. I have to take the blinders off and remind myself thatI don't know this guy.

And to be prudent, I need to deal with him as a stranger in this business deal we're striking. A stranger who may not have the kids' best interests in mind, and definitely doesn't spare a thought for me. This guy wearing the Peter mask is looking out for number one, and that's all he's doing. I need to think along the same lines, as I look out for both my number one's, and for myself as well.

Somehow, this will all work out. I just need to keep my eyes on the paperwork and stop scanning the horizon, waiting for that magical guy I thought I married to appear. He's a fairy tale. A myth.






Video: Buddy Brown - Stop Looking at the Bar - FOLLOW Spotify & Apple Music

I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There
I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There images

2019 year
2019 year - I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There pictures

I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There advise
I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There recommendations photo

I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There picture
I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There images

I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There new photo
I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There new pics

picture I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There
foto I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There

Watch I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There video
Watch I Need To Stop Looking For The Man That Isnt There video

Discussion on this topic: I Need To Stop Looking For The , i-need-to-stop-looking-for-the/
Discussion on this topic: I Need To Stop Looking For The , i-need-to-stop-looking-for-the/ , i-need-to-stop-looking-for-the/

Related News


11 High-Fiber Recipes for Weight Loss
6 Cool NYFW Spring 2019 Accessories To Add To Your Wardrobe
PICS David Walliams’ romantic tryst with wife Lara Stone
How To Shop Lingerie: Your Definitive Guide (Seriously, This Is Everything You Need To Know)
We cant wait to see what Klum pulls off next year
Freja Beha Erichsen for Max Mara Spring 2019 Campaign
9 Standout Moments From Feud: Bette and Joan Episode 2
The New Way To Prevent Heart Disease
11 Budget Ways to Upgrade Your Basic Frameless Bathroom Mirror
How to Prepare for Pain Without Going Nuts
3 Stunning American Music Awards Hairstyles That Made the Cut



Date: 16.12.2018, 02:01 / Views: 64242